Dear Mr. Chan: CULTURALLY CURIOUS QUESTIONS CABBAGE WAFT

Dear Mr. Chan is written by Mr. Chan, also known by some as Lone Wolf or The Beast from the East. It is a semi-popular column which provides a unique perspective on any offhand topic.

DEAR MR. CHAN: When I work out, sometimes old sweaty Asian men will use the treadmill next to me. How come they always smell weird -- like vinegar and old cabbage? And is there a way to stop it from wafting my way? Thanks! -- Culturally Curious

DEAR CULTURALLY CURIOUS: You know, big man upstairs made everyone different.

For example, I always get compliments for smelling like freshly picked huckleberries. Maybe some people really like smell of delicious huckleberries, maybe some people don't like it...

But let's be honest, everybody likes it.

But let me assure you your problem with smelly old Asian men is not race related, but more dietary based. For instance, Mr. Chan went to gym last night, and white guy on elliptical runner next to me smelled like a box of Wheat Thins! So I think, maybe all white guys smell like Wheat Thins! Natural conclusion, right?

Then I look over...low and behold, he eating a box of Wheat Thins! Can you believe that one? Mr. Chan felt so bad.

So it sound like you just got some bad luck, ok? But let me share some wisdom with you...

Next time you go to the gym, try to use your nose for breathing, not smelling.

Write Mr. Chan at mrchan@misunderstoodman.com.